Judge by Deed, not by word.
Words may be harsh or mild. On the basis of the words, however, the nature of the person who has uttered the words cannot, in my view, be judged.
Words may indicate the nature and direction of the action that the words may entail. The words are, however, not always indicative of the direction of the action that may follow the words.
I am of the opinion that, on the basis of the words, no opinion can be formed about one’s nature. Similarly, the nature and direction of the action that may follow the words cannot always be determined precisely on the basis of the words.
I would like to narrate what I had observed in my own extended family. In my extended family, we are three cousins. None of us has real brother. In my village, our ancestral house was common though we were living separately. The courtyard of the house was common and it was shared by the three families.
Sometimes, verbal clashes used to take place among our mothers. During the course of verbal clashes, all sorts of abusive words were hurled from opposite sides.
Once upon a time, fierce verbal clash took place between my mother and my elder aunt. My mother knew that my elder cousin was dearest to his mother. Likewise, my elder aunt knew that I was the dearest of my mother. Therefore, my elder cousin was target of my mother and I was target of my elder aunt. The verbal clash was so fierce that my elder aunt wished that god might snatch me from my mother and so wished my mother that god might snatch my elder cousin from his mother. My elder aunt and my mother were also taking vow that, thence from, they would treat each other’s family as untouchable. My elder aunt vowed that she would not drink water from my mother’s pitcher and so vowed my mother that she would not drink water from my elder aunt’s pitcher.
My elder cousin and I were there when the clash was taking place. My elder cousin could not tolerate it and left the scene in anger. I, however, did not get angry and remained present there trying to pacify both of them. At last, the heat subsided and the situation improved. Both of the women, thereafter, engaged themselves in their respective job.
It was the evening. My mother was preparing Chapati. I was taking meal. At the same time, an idea flashed in my mind. I saw that her granddaughter of about 5 or 6 was sitting on a cot. I called her. She hesitated. I knew the reason for her hesitation. I went to her, and applying lovingly a mild force, made her to share meal with me. Still she was hesitating. I started he feeding from my own hand. She then obliged. Neither my mother nor my elder aunt raised any objection.
After finishing meal, I went to her earthen pitcher of my elder aunt and poured water therefrom into the Lota. I drank water and also made my niece to drink the same. Thereafter, I went to my elder aunt who too was preparing to prepare food and sat beside her. I reminded her of the vow she had taken during altercation between her and my mother. Thereafter, I asked her as to what would happen to her granddaughter because her granddaughter, having shared food with me, had become untouchable for my elder aunt. She did not utter a word. I further asked her as to what would happen to her pitcher because she would not drink water from the said pitcher thenceforth. Again she did not utter a word. This time, however, a smile was visible on her face.
I knew that my elder aunt was very kind hearted. She could never curse me from her heart. I knew that the words which she had uttered during the clash had no meaning. I was very normal. Keeping in view my own understanding of her, a novel idea flashed in my mind. With ostentatious seriousness, I told her that her heart was very pure and hence I would be victim to her curse with the result that the God would snatch me from my mother in the night. Accordingly, I, with ostentatious seriousness, enquired of her whether she would participate in the rites that would be performed next day for peace of my soul. I told her that if she would not participate in the rites, my soul would continue to wander on earth and could not rest in peace. At this, she broke down and tears began to flow from her eyes. She did not utter a word but hugged me.
What does the above incident indicate? Could the nature and conduct of my elder aunt and my mother be judged on the basis of the words used by them? Was the meaning and purport of the words used by mother for my elder cousin and the meaning and purport of the words used by my elder aunt same? It was not the same definitely. For me, those words did not carry any weight with them. I found no grains in the words. On the other hand, my elder cousin had taken the words used by the mother very seriously. For him, the words used by my mother carried heavy weight. He could not tolerate the impact of the words used by my mother and angrily left the scene. He had felt very offended. He practically stopped talking to my mother. The fact was that the same words had been used from both the sides and they were very hollow. While weighing the words, however, my elder cousin did not take into account the situation in which the said words were being used.
Let’s suppose someone from outside was present when this clash was taking place. Let’s further suppose that, having been aggrieved with my mother’s utterances, my elder cousin would have brought the issue to the Panchayat. Then, what would have happened? How would my elder cousin and I have narrated the incident?
I could not have levelled allegation on my elder aunt. On the other hand, my cousin would have freely and forcefully levelled allegation on my mother. I could not have contradicted the fact that my mother had used all the words which my elder cousin was mentioning before the Panchayat. I could merely contend that the meaning and purport of the words used by mother was not what my elder cousin had understood. I would not have become offensive because I had no grudge against his mother. My role would have been defensive. It would have been very difficult for me to defend my mother even though same words had been used by his mother and my mother. What would have then been the result? My mother would have lost the case and her image vis-à-vis image of my elder aunt would have would have suffered.
Similar things are happening to to-day. We are judging any one on the basis of his words and not on the basis of his deeds. We forget that the words have limitations and love, affection, sentiments, sentiments and similar abstract things cannot be expressed to the desired extent in the words. Therefore, what is required is that while judging a person, we should take into account his overall conduct, deeds, the prevailing situation, the age, education, background etc of the person and not merely the words. Words are factors to be taken into account but not the sole or main factor. It is not incidental but ancillary in nature but hence undue weightage should be attached to the words. The purport of the same words used by a child, a young person and an old one cannot be the same. Likewise, the purport of the same words used by a uneducated person and a highly educated one cannot be the same. Similar thing can be said about a peon and an officer who holds high post.
Why can the purport and meaning of the same words used by different class of people not be the same? This is so because, the level of understanding between the two sets of person is not the same. In my own case the level of understanding of the same words used my elder cousin and my mother was not the same for me and for my elder cousin.
In view of the above, I call upon the people who claim that they are well educated not to judge one inter se but also the people belonging to other classes not merely what they have spoken in public or in private but on their overall conduct and their deeds. If their conduct is beyond reproachable and their deeds are in the interest of the society, then their harsh and bitter words can be ignored and the same should not be treated as the subject matter of debate on any forum whatsoever.
Words may be harsh or mild. On the basis of the words, however, the nature of the person who has uttered the words cannot, in my view, be judged.
Words may indicate the nature and direction of the action that the words may entail. The words are, however, not always indicative of the direction of the action that may follow the words.
I am of the opinion that, on the basis of the words, no opinion can be formed about one’s nature. Similarly, the nature and direction of the action that may follow the words cannot always be determined precisely on the basis of the words.
I would like to narrate what I had observed in my own extended family. In my extended family, we are three cousins. None of us has real brother. In my village, our ancestral house was common though we were living separately. The courtyard of the house was common and it was shared by the three families.
Sometimes, verbal clashes used to take place among our mothers. During the course of verbal clashes, all sorts of abusive words were hurled from opposite sides.
Once upon a time, fierce verbal clash took place between my mother and my elder aunt. My mother knew that my elder cousin was dearest to his mother. Likewise, my elder aunt knew that I was the dearest of my mother. Therefore, my elder cousin was target of my mother and I was target of my elder aunt. The verbal clash was so fierce that my elder aunt wished that god might snatch me from my mother and so wished my mother that god might snatch my elder cousin from his mother. My elder aunt and my mother were also taking vow that, thence from, they would treat each other’s family as untouchable. My elder aunt vowed that she would not drink water from my mother’s pitcher and so vowed my mother that she would not drink water from my elder aunt’s pitcher.
My elder cousin and I were there when the clash was taking place. My elder cousin could not tolerate it and left the scene in anger. I, however, did not get angry and remained present there trying to pacify both of them. At last, the heat subsided and the situation improved. Both of the women, thereafter, engaged themselves in their respective job.
It was the evening. My mother was preparing Chapati. I was taking meal. At the same time, an idea flashed in my mind. I saw that her granddaughter of about 5 or 6 was sitting on a cot. I called her. She hesitated. I knew the reason for her hesitation. I went to her, and applying lovingly a mild force, made her to share meal with me. Still she was hesitating. I started he feeding from my own hand. She then obliged. Neither my mother nor my elder aunt raised any objection.
After finishing meal, I went to her earthen pitcher of my elder aunt and poured water therefrom into the Lota. I drank water and also made my niece to drink the same. Thereafter, I went to my elder aunt who too was preparing to prepare food and sat beside her. I reminded her of the vow she had taken during altercation between her and my mother. Thereafter, I asked her as to what would happen to her granddaughter because her granddaughter, having shared food with me, had become untouchable for my elder aunt. She did not utter a word. I further asked her as to what would happen to her pitcher because she would not drink water from the said pitcher thenceforth. Again she did not utter a word. This time, however, a smile was visible on her face.
I knew that my elder aunt was very kind hearted. She could never curse me from her heart. I knew that the words which she had uttered during the clash had no meaning. I was very normal. Keeping in view my own understanding of her, a novel idea flashed in my mind. With ostentatious seriousness, I told her that her heart was very pure and hence I would be victim to her curse with the result that the God would snatch me from my mother in the night. Accordingly, I, with ostentatious seriousness, enquired of her whether she would participate in the rites that would be performed next day for peace of my soul. I told her that if she would not participate in the rites, my soul would continue to wander on earth and could not rest in peace. At this, she broke down and tears began to flow from her eyes. She did not utter a word but hugged me.
What does the above incident indicate? Could the nature and conduct of my elder aunt and my mother be judged on the basis of the words used by them? Was the meaning and purport of the words used by mother for my elder cousin and the meaning and purport of the words used by my elder aunt same? It was not the same definitely. For me, those words did not carry any weight with them. I found no grains in the words. On the other hand, my elder cousin had taken the words used by the mother very seriously. For him, the words used by my mother carried heavy weight. He could not tolerate the impact of the words used by my mother and angrily left the scene. He had felt very offended. He practically stopped talking to my mother. The fact was that the same words had been used from both the sides and they were very hollow. While weighing the words, however, my elder cousin did not take into account the situation in which the said words were being used.
Let’s suppose someone from outside was present when this clash was taking place. Let’s further suppose that, having been aggrieved with my mother’s utterances, my elder cousin would have brought the issue to the Panchayat. Then, what would have happened? How would my elder cousin and I have narrated the incident?
I could not have levelled allegation on my elder aunt. On the other hand, my cousin would have freely and forcefully levelled allegation on my mother. I could not have contradicted the fact that my mother had used all the words which my elder cousin was mentioning before the Panchayat. I could merely contend that the meaning and purport of the words used by mother was not what my elder cousin had understood. I would not have become offensive because I had no grudge against his mother. My role would have been defensive. It would have been very difficult for me to defend my mother even though same words had been used by his mother and my mother. What would have then been the result? My mother would have lost the case and her image vis-à-vis image of my elder aunt would have would have suffered.
Similar things are happening to to-day. We are judging any one on the basis of his words and not on the basis of his deeds. We forget that the words have limitations and love, affection, sentiments, sentiments and similar abstract things cannot be expressed to the desired extent in the words. Therefore, what is required is that while judging a person, we should take into account his overall conduct, deeds, the prevailing situation, the age, education, background etc of the person and not merely the words. Words are factors to be taken into account but not the sole or main factor. It is not incidental but ancillary in nature but hence undue weightage should be attached to the words. The purport of the same words used by a child, a young person and an old one cannot be the same. Likewise, the purport of the same words used by a uneducated person and a highly educated one cannot be the same. Similar thing can be said about a peon and an officer who holds high post.
Why can the purport and meaning of the same words used by different class of people not be the same? This is so because, the level of understanding between the two sets of person is not the same. In my own case the level of understanding of the same words used my elder cousin and my mother was not the same for me and for my elder cousin.
In view of the above, I call upon the people who claim that they are well educated not to judge one inter se but also the people belonging to other classes not merely what they have spoken in public or in private but on their overall conduct and their deeds. If their conduct is beyond reproachable and their deeds are in the interest of the society, then their harsh and bitter words can be ignored and the same should not be treated as the subject matter of debate on any forum whatsoever.
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